


In Darkness, Underground

by Erisabesu (ErisabesuFic)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drama, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Mission Burnout, Mutual Pining, Romance, Shinobi Life is Tough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu
Summary: "Kakashi regards the petulant slant of Tenzou’s chin.  They had been through so much once upon a time.  Grown close.  Partners, inseparable, bonded, but never crossing into that uncharted territory, no matter how much either of them had longed for it."Written for Kakashi Week 2020, Day 3: Free Day.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49
Collections: Kakashi Week 2020





	In Darkness, Underground

“In Darkness, Underground”

♦

Since exiting ANBU after ten years of continuous service, Kakashi has been given the freedom to choose his solo missions at a whim, including those ranked at the highest difficulty, seeking to push himself to the limits, stare any and all dangers in the face while hiding his own behind as many masks as it takes to try and feel _alive,_ or to die, if that’s the true measurement of his skills. 

With each mission he takes on any number of enemies, no matter the risks, no matter how battered or injured or bloody he is when he returns. But that’s the true agony — returning home and realizing that nothing’s changed, and he’s still alone. 

His old teammates are gone. His sensei is gone. He has no one left to answer to but the Hokage, and sometimes, reluctantly, his conscience. No new teammates to worry when he’s late reporting in, or to wonder if he’s lying in a ditch somewhere. No distractions. No ties. No kouhai to get in the way. 

Kakashi selects the S-ranked solo mission scroll from Sandaime’s stacked pyramid of choices, and the Hokage passes it over without comment, just a tight look in his eyes. Kakashi ignores the look, and tucks the scroll into the pouch at his waist. He strolls lazily back to the double doors and rolls his shoulders, testing the ache of old bruises layered over his flesh and decides the soreness is tolerable. It won’t interfere with what needs to be done, and truly, he’s experienced much worse. 

He opens the door and stands face to face with a man nearly his same height.

“ _Senpai_.”

Ah. Of course. There he is, like clockwork. 

Once again Kakashi’s former ANBU partner and self-appointed shadow, has ambushed him outside the Hokage’s office. Kakashi’s jaw tightens, annoyed that Tenzou lies in wait like this to sabotage him, like a traitor, trying to make him — Kakashi doesn’t fucking know _what_ , actually, retire for good maybe? Put himself out to pasture like some used up herd animal? 

The guy’s so … Persistent. _Judgmental_. Getting in his way and thinking he’s got things all figured out when what does he know, really? What could he possibly know?

Tenzou thrusts out his hand, palm up, wearing an expression Kakashi has never seen before unless it was directed at an enemy-nin. Threatening. Dangerous. Yet… 

Raw. _Needy_.

Huh.

Kakashi drops his eyes to the oval speck in Tenzou’s open hand, a seed made for tracking, just as he remembers from their days in ANBU. As Kakashi’s eyes lift back up to Tenzou’s, he reassesses. He thinks about what this hand, now, means. What it’s really offering. 

Because there is a question here this time, not the usual demand that Kakashi stand down, or take a break. To quit putting himself in danger when he’s old enough and scarred enough to know better. 

The seed changes the message, the tactics. The seed says _I know I can’t stop you_ , and _I know you won’t listen to me_ , so won’t you at least _let me keep track of whether you’re alive or dead_? The seed says, you may not care what happens to you, but there’s someone here who does, and they care _very much._

Kakashi regards the petulant slant of Tenzou’s chin. They had been through so much once upon a time. Grown close. Partners, inseparable, bonded, but never crossing into that uncharted territory, no matter how much either of them had longed for it. Kakashi hadn’t forgotten, would never forget. Just. The memories had faded as they grew apart, going separate ways like a fork in the Nakano river only to meet again like this outside the Hokage office, at odds. 

That tiny thing lying in _Tenzou’s_ open hand holds a great significance, represents so much, and tugs on Kakashi’s insides in a way he isn’t sure he can brush off or ignore. In his kouhai’s face Kakashi can read the quiet, even desperate confession that demands an answer. 

Kakashi calculates more than two hundred possible responses that in turn diverge into two thousand possible outcomes, some of which he could live with and many more he could not. This, here, now, is his kouhai’s last stand. The point of no return. Take the seed or he’ll forever hold his peace.

Kakashi ignores the seed — and maybe a significant portion of his common sense — and acts on the sentiment instead. 

When their gazes meet, Kakashi tugs Tenzou’s hitai-ate down over his eyes, gently. Then he lowers the fabric of his mask and leans in, pressing his naked mouth to Tenzou’s surprised lips.

Tenzou’s total incapability of speech, as predicted, allows Kakashi to conclude the argument by tucking them behind the tapestry on the closest wall, the seed falling forgotten as hands hook into vests and hair, urgent and solid and like nothing they’ve ever allowed before. He could kick himself for waiting so long to accept the risks — to risk it all — but instead he makes very, very sure that there’s no way Tenzou can brush this interaction off as anything other than the declaration it is, because — Kakashi must be crazy, he doesn’t actually want to go anymore and doesn’t this timing fucking suck — the mission still waits and there’s not enough time.

Tenzou gasps for breath and Kakashi leaves an unmistakable mark on his kouhai’s neck before pulling the shirt collar back up over Tenzou’s chin and sealing his mouth with one more kiss. 

“Now do you believe I’ll come back in one piece?” Kakashi asks. Tenzou’s hands press flat on Kakashi’s back and squeeze him like he’s more precious than anything else in all of the Land of Fire.

When Kakashi returns from the solo mission a full day earlier than scheduled and goes directly to Tenzou’s apartment without a single detour, Tenzou’s sly grin in the doorway is suddenly the best thing he’s ever seen in his whole life.

Kakashi rubs a gloved hand against the back of his sweaty neck, just standing on the threshold and taking in the gorgeous sight before him. 

Huh. 

Who would have thought — that single step forward had been really, really tiny after all. 

Tenzou grabs him by the collar of his flak jacket and tumbles him inside the apartment and onto the couch, grimy uniform and all. Kakashi pulls Tenzou as close as he can get and breathes in the other man’s familiar scent, lets him lower the mask and eliminate the last shred of distance between their tentative lips that grow bold, and bolder still, confirming that there are many things in life far better than being a lone wolf tempting fate. 

The evening passes in a blur, couch to floor to shower to bed where they sleep, and make love all over again, and then sleep some more until the gray haze of dawn settles over them like a whisper.

Who knows what it all means, yet, but for now Kakashi thinks he’ll try to own this rash leap and see where the two of them end up. He regards Tenzou’s slack sleeping face, listens to his soft snores, and traces the tattoo on his shoulder.

He’ll worry about the rest later. 

♦

“A seed neither fears light nor darkness, but uses both to grow.”

― Matshona Dhliwayo

—

Ω

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed! ♥
> 
> Come say hi on Twitter! :) [@erisabesu3](https://twitter.com/erisabesu3)


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